Life Of The Twisted





how do astronauts say they’re sorry?

they apollo-gize!!

We dont apologize.

we are perfect.

nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ


i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life





Television shows should never go on long enough to allow fans of that show to become writers of it.

this is more true for South Park than for The Simpsons

Most true for Law an Order SVU and Doctor Who.

If anyone who wrote for Doctor Who actually liked Doctor Who the entire Matt Smith run wouldn’t have happened

Confession: I think Benedict Cumberbatch looks like an alien wearing a human skin suit.


And he’s not one of the nice aliens that shares knowledge and technology, but one of the asshole aliens who do the fucked up experiments on people.


tips on how to properly enter my room:

  1. do not

(Source: trencly)


men love “fat asses” and big titties but act like those things commonly exist naturally on thin women and they “don’t count” when accompanied by a jiggly belly and thick thighs
lol ok


seeing a hot stranger in public is a blessing

seeing the same hot stranger in public again is a sign